0

by

 Lucia

from

“Lunch With Lu”

As a woman in my late fifties, I can say that I have been through every aspect of relationships. From what I thought was mad love, to long term unfulfilled commitments, and two meaningless and unmemorable marriages. I lived it, seen it and most of all heard it all. I dated older, younger, not to be shallow, fat, short and even bipolar. At this point I can say with great conviction that I got it nailed.. Life as a single woman is my now. The future has no significance. Reason I chose this life is because I don’t feel I have anything to offer to a man to keep myself interested.. Yes it is about me. If you are not complete, you can’t share yourself with another person.

Living life as a couple is not an easy thing to do, mainly because ‘couple’, doesn’t mean ‘as one’.. There are two heads two bodies and two different upbringings. When two people get together, their intentions most of the time is to make it to ‘happily ever after’. These dreams lets be realistic, comes from the woman side..The men go along because they doesn’t know better.. When does happily ever after begin? When we settle in, and have confidence in ourselves..

Living together as a couple and understanding each others’ needs and aspirations, involves security trust and encouragement.. First comes the meeting, than comes the commitment, followed what we hope for, the wedding. Notice I did not say marriage.

I would like to divide these three issues and state my opinion. If you disagree I understand. Every circumstance has a different take and a different way of dealing with. I’m by far not an expert on the subject and frankly I don’t believe that any one on this planet is..

Paying heavy fees to a counselor to be told how I should treat my relationship, I would say “live with it for a few years, than I will believe in you’.  I would like to state my opinion on ‘Love’ We through that word around like it was a meal..I Love sushi, I love animals..I Love humanity..and most I hear ‘I love him’..

It’s not as simple as all that. Love is a feeling, a heavy emotion. This is where we all get confused between lust, desire, want, need, and must have.. These words can easily fall under the dome of love. But now that we understand better the confusion, ‘Love’ is something that needs to be earned , and like a promotion or an acquisition we need to prove ourselves worthy

This takes time, hard work and mostly dedication to the cause.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dating ~How to make him remember you.

My experience on dating is real, and everything I’m stating is proven to work. Most eligible women have an important task in life, and this is to grab (Yes I said grab) a man.. Hence the gym, the diet the clothes, followed by the endless pursuit of clubs, dating sites…or any other imaginable way to go out and meet the one.  We believe by having a list of what we are looking for, it will facilitate our search.

Sure it will.

We need to understand that a man has his own version of perfection. They have no list. They will take it or leave it depends on their moods. But there are ways of making a man remember you. Once we pass the evening and hope he liked us, (because he is hot), we spend every waking moment wondering why he is not calling. I’ll tell you why, because he went home and got back into the dating site to see if any one out there is better than you. Not that you were not the perfect date (so you think) but perhaps he had an ear-full of your needs and wants..

What will keep a man interested is the mystery of a spacial woman possesses.. Dress in a colorful outfit. Black seems to be a uniform that women think it’s slimming..most women wear black, and you’ll be part of the assembly line. If you are overweight he can see through black so be yourselves. Don’t wear a lot of bling..A man will see you as high maintenance, and pretentious. The conversation should be about your likes, not your needs, and dislikes..( I have a friend that always sees the ‘yeah but’ in every conversation, than she wonders why he doesn’t ask for her number), and never ever talk about your past..No need to bring up the dead.

If a man has unsolved issues, a girlfriend he keeps talking about or an ex wife..Don’t bother, he’s not over her and you will just be a fly by night. If you are a single young woman, and he is a father, it’s great!, but his weekends are spend with his children, and you’ll be fending for yourself. Going on a date should be looked at as something to do that evening, and move on..If he calls you, you have the choice to go out again, or simply say ‘I’m sorry but I didn’t feel the connection’. I used to avoid answering the phone and some were quite persistent.

I believe dating is a lottery..You can win or lose it depends on luck..

 On your first date I usually recommend a place that there are no other people, such as a park, a walk on the beach, even a long drive..This will give him less of a chance to look over your shoulders for other women, he’ll have all your attention. I like parking in a dark spot have the music on and dance. Prepare a few sandwiches and enjoy each others company. He will not forget you. If you insist on going to a restaurant, ask for a secluded table away from the crowd..

Never order a salad..You are not a rabbit..Men like eaters, and make sure you insist on paying your own way. Always ask for separate checks, nothing is more degrading than bickering who ordered what. If he is a gentleman he’ll insist on picking up the tab, just let him know that next time it’s on him.

Thank him for his kindness. You will feel no obligation to put out, and he will not feel like he spend money for nothing.. Don’t talk about diets and how important it is to have a healthy lifestyle..If you look great, he’ll know you are working on it no need to bring it up.. I dated great looking men, and when they start to give me their exercise and diet routine, I’m ready to ask for the bill. If you can’t keep your hands off each other, don’t expect him to call you just because he was hot for you.. The wine could have been a factor so don’t assume there is a second time. I have a 31 year old, extremely good looking son, and I can tell you that if you jump into bed same day, chances are he’ll forget you. They always wonder who you were with the night before..

In conclusion.

Dating should be a fun hobby. Once it’s over, your daily routine should be as normal as possible as nothing spacial occurred. Don’t tell any one about it, because they will expect more details.. The less you talk about it the less obsessed you will become. I know that men don’t rush to the phone next day to call you. For them it’s not important to keep a time line. Chances are they will date others after you, but if you stand out he will fondly remember and call you back. Don’t play hard to get and don’t sound eager or desperate. Thank him for a memorable evening and you are looking forward to see him again and this time you decide when and where.

Thank you for your time and I’m looking forward to write about the next step.

The relationship.

In hope that you like my opinion, I would be glad to hear yours.

Please join me on my channel and tell me your story.

http://www.youtube.com/user/lunchwithlu

http://www.lunchwithlu.com/

Lucia

Tags: , , , , ,

Leave a Comment